Sometimes a sentence fails to say what you mean because its elements don’t make the proper connections. Then you have to revise by shuffling the components around, juxtaposing those that should link and separating those that should not. To get your meaning across, you not only have to choose the right words, you have to put them in the right order. Words in disarray produce only nonsense:

Him stick with the before chased boy the that dog big had the attacked.

Ordered, the same words can make several coherent statements:

The boy with the big stick attacked the dog that has chased him before.

The big dog chased the boy that had attacked him with the stick before.

Before, the big boy with the stick chased the dog that had attacked him.

The boy that had chased the big dog before attacked him with the stick.

The big dog chased the stick with the boy that had attacked him before.

Anyone at home with an English sentence knows without thinking that the verb normally comes after the subject and before the object and that modifiers usually go next to the elements they qualify. When words aren’t near the words they go with, they go with the words they’re near. So if you don’t put your sentence components where they belong, you risk confusing your readers or getting laughs you didn’t want. Take this sentence, for example:

Queen Elizabeth read the speech, which was handed to her by the 71-year-old Lord Hailsham, the Lord Chancellor, with the aid of half-moon glasses.

Imaginatice readers might picture the lord chancellor handing the queen a furled parchment balanced on a pair of spectacles. The writer should have brought the queen and her glasses together:

With the aid of half-moon glasses, Queen Elizabeth read the speech handed to her by …

But not all faulty connections yield to simple transpositions. Sometimes you have to reword. Consider this sentence:

We try to help clients interpret statistics with some sophistication.

Are the clients to interpret rather sophisticated statitics or to interpret statitics in a rather sophisticated way? The article that supplied this example ultimately makes clear that the with phrase goes with interpret, not statistics, but there seems no way to bring verb and phrase closer together. A change to help clients interpret with some sophistication statistics would scarcely sound like English, and a change to help clients with some sophistication interpret statistics would alter the meaning. In such circumstances you have to open up the sentence and give yourself a little more room to say what you mean:

We try to help clients develop some sophistication in interpreting statistics.

You can sometimes detect faulty connections in your writing by reading aloud-a practice that can uncover a variety of problems by forcing you to notice individual words that you might skip over in reading silently. But the method is not foolproof, since your familiarity with what you want to say may distort the way you hear your own sentences. You have to train yourself to look at your sentences critically and objectively, and you have to know what to look for. This chapter alerts you to the most common word-order problems and suggests ways of solving them.

Putting modifiers in their places

When an adjective or adverb directly precedes the word it describes, there’s no mistaking the connection. Nor is there any problem with a modifying phrase or clause that directly follows the word it describes. But a modifier in an unusual position may fall into the wrong company and form an unsuitable attachment. Though readers can usually figure out what you mean, the momentary misreading can distract them from the substance of what you’re saying.

Adjectives

An adjective ordinarily goes before the word it modifies or after a linking verb (e.g., seem, appear, or become) that ties it to the subject. Occasionally, however, you may like the rhythm or force you get by putting two or more adjectives after the noun they modify, as in She was an able administrator, strong but tactful. This sort of variation is fine provided that the adjectives directly follow the appropriate word. In the following sentence, from a pamphlet on money managment, the adjectives have gone astray:

Since dealings with a custodian bank are usually in writing, whether local or cut of town,the only difference is a lag of a few days.

It is, of course, the bank that is in or out of town, but the word order suggests that the adjectives modify writing (the nearest noun) or, if not, dealings (the more prominent of the earlier nouns). To revise, you need only move the words around:

Since dealings with the custodian bank, whether local or out of town, are usually in writing, the only difference is a lag of a few days.

An adjective modifying the object of a verb expressing opinion (e.g., consider, think, judge, or find) also comes after the word it qualifies, as in He found the staff competent and I consider her work brilliant. But if the modifier cannot follow the object directly, the sentence may be hard to read. For example:

The superintendent of the Ossining Correctional Facility found the community’s desire to preserve part of the prison amusing.

Amusing cannot follow desire, the word it modifies, because the infinitive phrase claims the same spot; placed after found, it would seem to take desire as its object (but even a nonverbal adjective-say, ironic-would be disruptive in that position). So you would have to restructure the sentence:

The superintendent of the Ossining Correctional Facility was amused by the community’s desire to preserve part of the prison.

Or:

The superintendent … found it amusing that the community wanted to preserve part of the prison.

Sometimes, you may choose to stress an adjective by putting it first in the sentence and setting it off by a comma. Despondent, the boy left the room has a force you don’t get with The despondent boy left the room. An adjective in this position ordinarily modifies the subject of the sentence. Readers will almost always make that connection whether or not you intend it, so be sure to match logic and syntax. Carelessness on this score can produce some bizarre results:

Lightweight and packable, Mom will find this comfortable, flattering robe indispensable for traveling.

If the adjectives in the example must retain their initial emphatic position, the sentence could read:

Lightweight and packable, this comfortable, flattering robe will delight Mom and prove indispensable for traveling.

But some might prefer a less frenetic approach:

Mom will find this lightweight, packable robe comfortable, flattering, and indispensable for traveling.

Occasionally an introductory adjective modifies not the subject of the sentence but the sentence as a whole. In More important, she finished ahead of schedule, for example, the meaning is “What is more important is that she finished …” The opening adjective phrase might be considered an aside, tacked onto the sentence rather like an abolute expression (a noun and a modifying participle having no grammatical connection with any other part of the sentence-e.g., God willing, all things being equal, weather permitting). You can use a self-contained sentence modifier of this sort if there’s no ambiguity, but be careful that it doesn’t seem to describe the subject. This sentence, from an article on the exploitation of part-time faculty memebers, permits misreading:

More subtle but exqually important, part-time teachers are stripped of their professional identities.

To avoid implying that the part-time teachers are more subtle than their full-time colleagues, you could give the adjectives a specific noun to modify:

This practice has another effect, more subtle but equally important: part-time teachers are …

Perhaps you have been thinking that a sentence modifier like More important should be More importantly. Many writers do use the adverbial form, and in some apparently analogous sentences an opening adjective would jar. No one would write, for example, Significant, she finished ahead of schedule instead of Significantly, she finished ahead of schedule. Here, in fact, we seem to be dealing more with idiom than with logic or grammar. Idiom, the normal pattern of the language, sometimes runs counter to both grammar and logic, but it must prevail. A construction that sounds wrong to the educated ear works against you, even though it’s arguably correct. Either an adjective or an adverb can modify a sentence as a whole, and if the particular form that comes naturally causes no confusion, let it be-unless you want to consider leaving it out. Writers on style have little to say about this adjective-versus-adverb question, perhaps because there is no hard-and-fast rule, perhaps also because such sentence modifiers are often expendable. If what you write seems important or interesting, you don’t have to say that it is. And if it doesn’t seem important or interesting, saying that it is won’t help. “Being told that something is interesting,” William Zinsser says, “[tempts] the reader to find it dull.”

Adverbs

Out-of-order adverbs are as common as out-of-order adjectives are rare. A little learning, they say, is a dangerous thing, and a vague malaise about splitting infinitives, the to forms of verbs, apparently accounts for a great many oddly placed adverbs. The rule, first of all, only proscribes an adverb after the to in a two-word infinitive (to be, to do, to think); in a passive or past infinitive-as well as in any other verb phrase that ends with a past participle-the ed form of a regular verb, the adverb usually belongs before the participle (to have sorely needed, to be wholly satisfied, to have been poorly represented; has always wanted, had been justly accused). And, second, the rule is not sacrosanct. Most accomplished writers respect the integrity of an infinitive-but not at any cost.

The following sentence includes a split infinitive that careful stylists would avoid and another that they would accept, at least if the only alternative were to transpose the adverb:

To properly assess the situation, you have to carefully weigh planned improvements against anticipated results.

Putting properly after situation improves the sentence, but if you take carefully out of the infinitive, where can you put it? It modifies weight. Place after the infinitive, it would seem to modify planned; before the to, it would sound unnatural; after improvemtns, it would separate word groups that belong together, and at the end of the sentence, it would be too remote from the verb it modifies. Although a split infinitive is preferable to artificiality or ambiguity, you can often avoid all three evils by omitting the adverb or rewording the sentence. In the last example you could easily do without carefully - weighing one thing against another implies taking care - but if you wanted to keep it, you could substitute must for have to.

If you place adverbs by ear, you will usually put them where they belong. Anyone who writes We have developed recently a plan or They have completed just a survey is either unfamiliar with the sound of English or mistaken about the propriety of splitting compound verbs. No native speaker says The planned recently their budget or We checked carefully our records. In a converntionally ordered sentence, an adverb modifying a one-word verb ordinarily goes between the subject and the verb, not between the verb and the object; but it may sometimes follow the object if it remains near the verb. When there is no object, the adverb may precede or follow the verb, as the desired emphasis dictates. An adverb modifying a verb phrase goes after the first word in the phrase (was extremely surprised, has often been said, would certainly have asked) unless, in verb phrases of three or more words, it modifies only the participle (had been justly accused, would have been officially ruled). You usually know instinctively when to put the adverb before the participle, and when you can’t be sure, the position probably makes no difference. But H. W. Fowler does offer a helpful hint: Ask whether the adverb and participle naturally suggest a corresponding adjective and noun; if they do, keep them together. Applying this test to the preceding examples, you get just accusation and official rule but can find no adjective and noun equivalents for either often and said or certainly and asked.

Although adverbs generally fall into their proper places automatically, they sometimes occur in ambiguous circumstances. Since they can grammatically modify not only verbs but verbals, adjectives, adverbs, and whole sentences, they have many opportunities to form misalliances. An adverb placed between rivals for its attention makes readers hesitate, and it may genuinely puzzle them if the context fails to elucidate. For example:

Critics have raised doubts about attempts to interpret Kleist’s response precisely because his skeptical statements obscure his thoughts.

Following an infinitive and preceding an adverbial clause, precisely can modify either. Are the attempts to interpret precisely, or are the doubts precisely because? If precisely should modify interpret, you might consider putting it before or after that word, but it would either split the infinitive or disrupt the sentence flow-awkward solutions best avoided. Reversing the order of the main and subordinate clauses proves more satisfactory. By putting the suboridinate clause first, you automatically separate the competing terms that sandwiched precisely in the first version:

Because Kleist’s skeptical statements obscure his thoughts, critics have raised doubts about attempts to interpret his response precisely.

This transposition also works if precisely modifies the because clause:

It is precisely because Kleist’s skeptical statements obscure his thoughts that critics have raised doubts about interpreting his response.

When you have trouble placing an adverb, don’t forget the option of omitting it. Writers tend to use more modifiers than they need, and an adverb that’s hard to fit in may also be expendable. You could, for example, do without the ambiguous adverb in The union leaders recommend strongly demanding a new wage policy. If strongly modifies demanding, the sentence has no room for it and would profit from its loss. A strong word like demanding functions better without an adverbial boost.

Of course, not all problem adverbs are dispensable. Consider this sparse sentence:

Writing simply is not degrading.

Since this example comes from an article on the virtues of writing simply, readers would doubtless understand that the adverb means “in an uncomplicated manmer” and qualifies writing. But without a clarifying context, the sentence would be ambiguous: simply might mean “really” and modify the predicate. A chagne to simply writing would give simply the sense of “merely,” and a change to simple writing would make the greund mean “a piece of writing” instead of “the act of writing.” Running out of options, you can’t simply delete simply; It’s the point of the sentence. You have to reword:

It is not degrading to write simply.

When you read your writing, watch for Janus-faced adverbs like those in the following examples. The suggested revisions - by no means the only ones possible - show alternative interpretations:

Theire willingness to work constantly amazed me.

> I constantly marveled at their willingness to work.

> Their willing and constant labor amazed me.

What you do primarily determines what you are.

> What you primarily do determines what you are.

> Your activities primarily determine what you are.

That interest rates had declined somewhat eased my mind.

> The slight decrease in interest reates eased my mind.

> That interest rates had declined made me feel somewhat easier.

You have to revise such sentences to make sure that others will read them as you do. All the corrections involve some rewording, often the substitution of a noun for one of the two verb forms that vie for the adverb’s attention in the origiinal version. This technique, in effect, disqualifies one of the candidates, since adverbs cannot modify nouns.

Four adverbs merit individual treatment because their placement entails special considerations: also, only, not, and however. Although much of the discussioin applies as well to analogous words like too, just, and moreover, these four cause the most trouble.

Also, though nominally an adverb, seems capable of playing other roles. In Women, and also men, are facing new challenges, for example, its adverbial function is not immediately clear. George O. Curme calls also, not, and only “distinguishing adverbs,” which “have the peculiarity that … they can direct attention not only to the verb and thus to the sentence as a whole, but also to any person or thing that becomes prominent in the situation as a whole.” Whatever the grammatical complexities, also-meaning “in addition”-can attach itself to a variety of sentence elements, so that you have to place it carefully to avoid false connections. What element is “in addition” in the following sentence?

I also think he is lying about where he was that night.

Do you give the same answer when you read that sentence as the second of a pair?

She doesn’t believe the defendant’s alibi for the night of the murder. I also think he is lying about where he was that night.

I think he hated her enough to kill her. I also think he is lying about where he was that night.

The defendant lied about his previous marriage. I also think he is lying about where he was that night.

These examples should demonstrate that also in the normal adverbial position can sometimes seem to modify one sentence element and sometimes another, the interpretation varying with the context.

Strictly